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Monday, June 11, 2007

oral yoga

so there i was this morning, standing in the pharmacy line at my local CVS, waiting to pick up my prescription. i had stopped by on my way home from the dentist; the oral surgery i had just undergone necessitated a week's supply of antibiotics. the anesthesia was already starting to wear off and the area where my tooth used to be was throbbing. i couldn't wait to get my hands on an ice pack and some painkillers.

to distract myself, i checked out the store shelves beside me. there were condoms to my right, diabetes supplies to my left, and cough and cold remedies right behind me. luckily, there really wasn't anything interesting enough for a compulsive shopper like me to add to my purchase. until, that is, i spotted a nutrition bar display rack with a large sign that announced:


ouch! the thought of doing any oral asanas after all the tugging and drilling that just went on in my mouth was just too painful to consider. but you know me; if it involved any kind of yoga, i needed to know.

turns out it was a promotion for soyjoy all-natural fruit and soy bars. of course, i have no idea how yoga could in any way be connected to eating a snack bar, especially since i didn't feel the urge to chant om nor levitate the last time i ate one, but it was something i could easily look into later, at least when i was able to eat solids once again.

you see, soyjoy bars were heavily promoted at the last two marathons i ran -- the eugene marathon in april and the rock 'n' roll marathon in june -- and at both events i was given handfuls of all the varieties: berry, apple, raisin almond, and mango coconut. i remember tasting them then and liking them all; in fact, i was so hungry after finishing the eugene race that i stood at their booth and ate what amounted to an entire bar of each flavor. and if that weren't bad enough, the nice soyjoy folk gave me an entire case of berry bars to take back home with me (and yes, i had to check it in as luggage because it wouldn't fit in the one carry-on bag i'd brought with me. and no, i haven't eaten them all. yet).

now that i'm home from the drugstore, i've checked the soyjoy website. and there, in one of the many so-called soyjoy vlogs, emy was waving bars about in a trance-like state, murmuring "... apple pose, down berry, half mango..."

and on a media campaign-related webpage, emy goes on to say:
"After yoga today I ran into my teacher, Swarna, snacking on a SOYJOY. And she had that same cat-like smile on her face like she does mid-asana. I bet I didn't look anything like that while eating my so-called 'nutrition bar.'"

maybe i'm just loopy from the painkillers, but i still don't get the connection between soyjoy and yoga. i'll need to meditate on this while i continue to hold an ice pack to my cheek...